Kick-A vs SCOTT PILGRIM
by Mark Meredith
Summary: Scott Pilgrim; Ramona Flowers; ... we, Judy, and Wallace Wells; ... also Kim Pine and Knives Chau stood in the middle of the street before the restaurant/comic shop as David Lizevski Kick-Ass and Mindy Hit-Girl crossed the street ... cross wise both groups meeting each other half-way. He held Pilgrim's hand out to shake Kick's hand and Dave Lizevski had shaken his hand...accepting.


Kick-Ass vs. SCOTT PILGRIM

by

Mark Walter Meredith

Scott Pilgrim; Ramona Flowers; ... we, Judy, and Wallace Wells; ... also Kim Pine and Knives Chau stood in the middle of the street before the restaurant/comic shop as** David Lizevski Kick-Ass **and Mindy Hit-Girl crossed the street ... cross wise both groups meeting each other half-way. He held Pilgrim's hand out to shake** Kick's **hand and** Dave Lizevski **had shaken his hand...accepting his hand in friendship.

Kim Pine said, "Let's cross the rest of the road so that we can eat at the comic book shop. That's where we agreed to meet anyways". We all crossed the rest of the way across the street between each of the cars slowing down to let us pass. Kim Pine ordered some cake because she found out they served it in with the coffee they sold**. **

Meredith-2 Kick-Ass vs. SCOTT PIL …. ._

**Dave Lizevski **ordered a cappuccino with pastry too ... because he was somewhat hungry and his father didn't count cappuccinos as coffee. Anyway, don't young kids drink caffeinated cola any-way**? Dave Lizevski's **parents used to say._ Flowers ordered two fried eggs and bacon, chopping the bacon strips in rectangle pieces and picking at them. _Pilgrim got a fillet of fish sandwich; the rest of us didn't really order anything.

Pilgrim said, "Congratulations on getting your own Capcom versus Kick Ass video game, bud ... you deserve it, ... from all of the fights you had to go through to become famous over night"

**Dave Lizevski **answered, "Yeah...well...according to you Pilgrim ... you only heard about it from a Japanese computer programmer at a party who got too drunk. Anyway didn't you say ... weren't you the one that told me that the programmer on business trip told you they field tested and Capcom wasn't releasing it?!"

_ _Pilgrim replied, "Yeah ... but you are still famous enough to get your own video game, right?! I'm glad Cap did try and make a** Kick-Ass **video game because when I heard about it I knew you were in the same universe as me. I called information and asked if there was a** Dave Lizevski **in this city and there was! Then I called you up and you set up this meeting at this comic shop and I thought, the same comic store in the movie?! This is perfect! I was all,**'**We're all going on ...**road trip!'**_ Everyone was in the room ... and for no reason everyone said spontaneously all at once '**Road trip**!'"_ 

Meredith-3 …GRIM_

_ ** Kick **said, _**I still can't believe that you know my identity from reading a graphic novel series about me ... but who cares, ... I've always wanted to meet a comic character and it's Pilgrim himself for Christ's sake! **_

Pilgrim said, "Yeah...and I've always wanted to meet **Kick**. Maybe from here I will check up on Westchester County...see if there's an Xavier's Institute for Higher Learning. I could pretend to be a mutant and get a tour of the School for Gifted Youngsters by pretending to want to enroll".

_**Dave Lizevski **said, "Yeah ... and I'm glad it's not like one of those Marvel team-ups where the first time two comic book superheroes meet the two comic book characters end up fighting the first time!"

_ _Pilgrim replied, "Yah ...I could just imagine a Marvel type team up where** Kick **falls for Flowers and Pilgrim fights him! That'd be so dumb a story! "

Meredith-4 …GRIM_

**Dave Lizevski **then said, "Yep, ... that'd be stupid, all righty. Why would I initiate a romance with this young woman Flowers anyway?_ Flowers is too old to like** Dave Lizevski **so why would** Kick **start to like her?! It would be stupid...that story"!

Flowers said**,**** "**What if Flowers initiated the relationship? Would that make sense if the story was like this?! Would the story be more real that way**"?_ **

**_ _ _****Kick **replied. "UUh, ... what …".?

_ Pilgrim said, "Hey, ... what're you tryin' t' say"? _

_ _ _Flowers said, "… Am not saying anything. I'm just saying that I happen to think** Dave Lizevski **is just some kinda' hot some sort a' that's all".

Pilgrim exclaimed, _**Flowers (!) how can you say that?! How could you do that, Flowers, especially in front of me? **_

Meredith-5 KICK-ASS vs. SCOTT PIL …. ._ 

_ _ She looked at Pilgrim who was shocked and every body else stared, was stock still...as Flowers replied, "What Pilgrim, (?) you had known when you started dating me that I have some kind of a thing for bad-boys, right?! "

**Dave Lizevski **replied, "Uh, ... you think I'm hot, really"? _

_ _ _Flowers answered, "Yeah, I mean, ... how **you** got bloodied up and said on the Internet clip**, **_**I'm Kick-Ass.**_ … That** Kick **beats up criminals, ... it's hot, right? Don't you all agree? Doesn't any-one agree with me?"

Pilgrim said, _**Flowers (?!) how could you!? **_

She replied, "It's my decision if I want to be attracted to someone or not. This is just like the time I told you I don't like your band. The fact I don't like your band is just an opinion. You cannot control my mind. I have free will you know, Pilgrim. The fact that I don't like yer band is just an opinion like how I'm attracted to** Kick**. _My opinion is nothing t' be offended about. We can disagree and still coexist".

Meredith-6 …Grim

Kim Pine then also said, "It's hard to be criticized ... but Flowers happens to be right._ Flowers doesn't have to agree with every single thing you believe".

_Pilgrim was angry because of this that had just been said ... and he had looked away toward the wall beyond the boxes of comic books and stared angrily at it for a long time._ Flowers glanced **at** him angrily because Pilgrim was staring away from Flowers at the wall ... angry as usual. Then Flowers noticed** Dave Lizevski **was staring at her in awe because of what Flowers had just said about her being attracted to** Dave Lizevski**._ Flowers gave a look to** Dave Lizevski **as if she were amused by the undignified, wide-eyed stare** Dave Lizevski **was giving Flowers because he couldn't believe that an attractive older woman thought _he_ were sexy. Flowers started leading** Dave Lizevski **on by giving him a come hither look.

_ _ ** Dave Lizevski **was staring out of the corner of **Dave Lizevski** eyes at Flowers as if** Dave Lizevski **couldn't believe what was going had given him one of those Janet Jackson Poetic Justice The Movie ... ... upper boob touches to Flower's own self through her own purple shirt.

Meredith-7 KICK-ASS vs. SCOTT PIL …. . _ 

Pilgrim was still in a bad mood ... staring at the blank wall.

_ _ _Flowers suddenly began stretching Flowers' arms up while Pilgrim wasn't looking and straightening her posture while Flowers stretched like she had just woken up...so that her chest looked more impressive ...and** Dave Lizevski **was falling for it hook-line and-sinker**.** _**Dave Lizevski **was staring at Flowers' breasts through her purple shirt with** Kick's **jaw hitting the table. Every-body else at the table besides that two and Pilgrim looking away, were looking at one-an-other as if to say to one another, _**uh oh.**_ Every body else was giving each other glances as if we all were asking each other, "Uh ... is this really happening?"! _Flowers was putting her arms down and began to look at** Dave Lizevski **from out of the corners of her eyes flirtatiously and began sighing and taking deep, cleansing breaths as if she were trying to not be so angry...but she was doing it only to make Flowers' rack look bigger obviously. He was trying to be not so obvious about looking directly at Flowers and** Dave Lizevski **was trying to only look out of his peripheral vision but he couldn't believe what she was doing! Feeling sexy must've been getting herself turned on ... because Flowers suddenly said, _**Pilgrim, Knives ... move down you guys ... it's getting hot in here and I can't breathe. I'm going to go outside and get a breath of fresh air.**_ _Pilgrim was still facing the same way and even crossed his arms, sulking. After Knives and Pilgrim slid down the booth seat Flowers slid out and stood up to walk away brushing Flowers' thigh against** Kick's** shoulder slowly on purpose on her way out. _

**_****Dave Lizevski's **eyes suddenly bulged for seemingly no reason and he suddenly said, _**I'm going too. I'm going outside for a breast of fresh air. I mean a breath of fresh air.**_ Flowers then walked in front and past the display window next to the booth. Then he walked out of the chimed comic book shop door and walked past the display window trying to look like** Dave Lizevski **was casually walking into the alley for, no reason. Everybody besides Pilgrim was looking at each another as if to say, "They aren't going to … are they?"!

Meredith-8 …GRIM_

Suddenly Pilgrim was looking down at the ground at his feet angrily and he looked like Pilgrim had just thought of something and looked up at the ceiling in shock and surprise._ Pilgrim said, "Wait-a-minute"! _Pilgrim swung his upper body around, looking out the booth's big window. _Pilgrim looked into the bulging, guilty eyes of** Dave Lizevski **still walking slowly past the booth's big window._ He spun Pilgrim's upper body around again and suddenly his spine straightened like an exclamation point had been transplanted with his spine. _Pilgrim suddenly looked up again even higher than before at the ceiling right above his head as if he were trying to think. Then just as suddenly there was a cloud of dust where Pilgrim had once been sitting. Everybody had their eyes glued to him to see what happened next as all their eyes followed Pilgrim's running form. The next thing we saw was Pilgrim rounding the turn next to the door and running out the comic-book shop door. The next thing we knew we were slowly stumbling into the entrance in the alley like we were magnetically and slowly drawn to Flowers and Pilgrim's juicy piece of soon-to be gossip. At the same time...the group was afraid to go into the entrance of the alley because the friends were afraid of impeding on** Kick's **relations. _Pilgrim slowly tread into and down the alley as if he were discovering some alley/cave and exploring it. Wallace Wells, Knives, Mindy Hit Girl, Neil, Kim Pine, and Judy could hear down the alley, "Touch my boob. Here it is."

"I love you! I love …. . Be my girl! Be my girl! Be my girlfriend! Bemy girl-friend"!

"O myGod this-isso-exciting-I cannot believe we're going to come at the same time! Oh, that's good yeah!"

"Aaughguuh. Will you be my girl...!?"

" Oogh, give me a minute to compose myself ".

"So wha da ya say will you be my girl?!"

"Um, yeah, OK".

Meredith-9 …GRIM_

Suddenly down the alley ... Pilgrim said, _**Flowers ...what the fuck are you doing?! You're supposed to be **__**my**__** girl?! For the love of baby Jesus!**_

Flowers replied, _**I'm sorry, Pilgrim. I'm sorry. It's just I always wanted t' have sex with Kick just once. It was just, you were in a bad mood again, and you are always so controlling of my life...you were angry with me again. I just wanted to feel loved just now.**_ Flowers slumped forward upon the rail they built there, next to the back door of the comic shop.

Meredith-10 …GRIM_

_** Dave Lizevski **replied to this by saying, "Only once?!But you're my girlfriend now...you're supposed to be the one who has sex with me, right?!"

_ **Kick **said, "What about all the stuff you said about you being _my__ partner?"!? _

_ _ _Flowers slumped back against the sidewall of the comic shop and said, "O ug. Um, you have to give a woman a little time after she cums to sit there for a while, and compose herself, come back to reality. That's just how God created our bodies and brains. I didn't know what I was saying! I told you to give me a minute but you didn't listen! I was kind of caught up in the moment and said that to get you to give me a minute! I was lost in the moment and thought that was the truth but I was too hasty! I'm still basically in a relationship with Pilgrim! I don't want ta' end that! I mean. … you know, right **Kick**?"

**Kick **replied by crying out, "So you're going to break it off, our relationship"?!

Meredith-11 …GRIM_

_Pilgrim yelled, **"Ex**-**boy-friends**!_ I **HATE** ex boy _**friends**_!_ I hate ex boy _**friends**_! You...! ... **Me**! In the street! We are gonna have it out! Right now! … . .

The End

AFTER-WORDS?!

by

Mark Walt Meredith

That is the end of that act of the story so far. Do you think that's the end of the life of this main character?! Not necessarily ... if you don't want it to be ... then write me a note about how you want to see the next chapter in the story of this main character's life! What happens next?! Who knows what happens? Tell me what you want to be happening in the story, next, OK?! OK! Perhaps I'll write the next chapter very soon from now!

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